Just thought I’d share some of the highlights from our 4th of July vacation. We went to see some family in upstate New York. It is usually an 8 hour drive for us and we go through Canada. Unfortunately there wasn’t enough room for us to stay in the house and getting a hotel is considered offensive so we got to stay in a tent in the yard…yes, my husband and I and our 2 toddlers got to sleep in a tent for several nights in the yard next to a barn. The good news is that we were allowed to use the house bathroom, etc. at night.
I will admit sleeping in the tent wasn’t too bad. The temperature was okay and the air mattresses worked well. The only thing that bothered us was the moisture. It got very damp in the tent at night. Okay, and the 10000000 frogs that croak all night long. However, we had to get the kids to fall asleep in the house first b/c our son wouldn’t go to sleep in the tent and our daughter found it too exciting to sleep. That meant “borrowing” space in the house until they were asleep and we could move out to the tent every night. There was also the issue of using the bathroom in the middle of the night. I, of course, had my period so that was an added bonus to the entire scenario especially considering I have to use the restroom more often, even at night. I would usually wait for my daughter to wake up to use the bathroom before I would force myself out of the tent. We would leave a pair of shoes on the tarp outside our tent door b/c the grass was so wet with dew when we’d go out to bed and we didn’t want the shoes inside the tent. So, upon leaving our humble abode we had to grab the flashlight, unzip, hop out and zip the tent door as quickly as possible to avoid getting bugs in the tent, then put on our wet shoes and walk the 50 yards in the wet grass to the house where we were greeted by 5 dogs every time. Obviously it was the reverse on our way back to the tent. Then cozy into our damp beds and go back to sleep. After the first of these many twilight trips I noticed I was very itchy once I got all tucked in to my bed. Hmmm.
As these trips progressed, so did my itching. After 3 days I had bites/bumps all over my legs and wanted to tear my skin off. Many of the men in the family had a good debate as to whether I was getting eaten alive by black flies or chiggers. Oh, did I tell you there were 13 of us at this 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom homestead? Don’t forget the 5 dogs and 5 birds inside the house and the 17 chickens and 12 ducks outside. And yes, we were the only ones in a tent. Oh, and yes, we were the only ones with children under the age 20. Back to the chiggers and flies. Um, I don’t ever want to hear the words burrow and fester again in reference to a possibility of anything related to my body. Alas, the consensus was to use some prescription strength hydrocortisone cream and surely that would cure the itch. Or not! Then apple cider vinegar. Then tea tree oil. Then rubbing alcohol. Of course, nothing worked. It is now Tuesday and it isn’t better. The joys of family…I mean, vacation.
Okay, enough with the camping part. Let me tell you more about the trip. Thursday we all just hung out. Friday there were some trips to “town”, grilled burgers/dogs and lots of play outside including fishing, riding on the tractor, chasing the chickens and playing with the dogs. Saturday we had a family reunion at the house. My husband has 7 siblings and 6 of 8 were there with their families. I saw many of my nieces and nephews who are my age or pretty close. It’s always nice and a bit strange b/c I feel like they are more my cousins than nieces and nephews. Anyway, we roasted a pig, had lots of picnic food and visited with everyone. It was nice. Sunday was extremely warm and humid. I escaped for a half hour by myself to get tampons “in town”. That was when I got the tea tree oil too as I still wasn’t cured. We kept the day pretty low-key which was a bit difficult with the kids but it was just so hot and we were pretty exhausted. I wasn’t sleeping well at night because of the itching, the frogs and always wanting to make sure the kids were warm enough.
We left bright and early Monday morning…6:45am. I did neglect to mention that we got to sleep IN the house Sunday night. Some family had left that day. I am thanking God for that little favor as the weather was miserable and so were my legs. I might have done something drastic had I been forced to sleep in that tent again. Anyway, we left early Monday. My brother-in-law had given me a large basil plant to replant at home. It was a great plant and I put it in the car just as we left.
It took us about an hour and 20 minutes or so to get to Canada. We stopped at the Duty-Free to grab some food and then didn’t want to stop again until we were out of Canada…which should be approximately 3 hours later. As we neared the border we noticed the line. A long line. First you pay the toll then continue on to Customs. It is similar to having 2 tolls in a row and in this case there is about a half mile between them. It took us over an hour to travel that half mile. And, we were on a huge bridge that entire time. A HUGE BRIDGE. The car lane was the lane that was slow. Semi-trucks were barreling past us and I felt like they were going to knock us into the water below or bounce us off the bridge b/c the suspension was seriously in action. Then our daughter told us she had to go to the bathroom, bad. Stuck in bumper to bumper traffic on the bridge we told her the only option was to put on a diaper. She freaked out. We all started to get a little worked up. We were pretty spent at that point. Finally our daughter caved and put on the diaper and we got through that issue. Poor kid. And eventually we completed that half mile and were at the Customs booth where the signs say you must declare all Fruits, Vegetables, Plants and Meat. The line we were in had an officer that was looking through every car so when it was my turn to Declare…I told him about the bananas we had to snack on, the apple that was half-finished and the basil plant. The damn basil plant. He asked me if I had proof it came from NY. Proof? No proof. He pulled out a little yellow pad of paper and made a call regarding my plant. I was given a sheet of yellow paper and told to pull over the side for secondary inspection. DAMMIT!
The secondary inspection is very serious. We had to get out of the car and could only take our money and ID’s. We had to leave cell phones, toys, everything…and go get in line with our little yellow paper. The line was out the door. Fortunately they said one of us could go in with the kids, if there was room, and the other could wait in line. I waited in line. Good news, I was waiting for the Agriculture Officer (there are different Depts. There for the variety of searches) and they were pretty caught up on their searches so I’d probably get to skip up the line pretty quickly. And I did. Once at the front of the line I was asked about the plant, where it came from, why did I have it, etc. I felt pretty silly answering these questions that were posed so seriously. I mean really, BIL dug it up and put it in a plastic bag that I then put in the car. That’s the whole story. I have it b/c I like basil. I was given a choice by this Officer. I could either drive back into Canada and go into the official Customs building and try to get my plant “certified” or I could release it for termination. I explained that I would have thrown it away hours ago had I known I was going to get a “reach around” for having it. But, could I just take some of the leaves off and put them in a bag? Humor was not appreciated and my last ditch effort to have something to show for my great efforts with this plant were quickly shot down and I chose release for termination. I was then quizzed repeatedly on whether or not I had any citrus fruits in the car. I said no, no some more and no a few more times. What is the deal with the citrus fruits? I DON’T HAVE ANY! I then had to tell the location of the plant in the car…which happened to be the floor of the backseat. The Officer went out to get the plant and would come back in to “clear” me.
As soon as he left to inspect my car and retrieve the plant I remembered MEAT. That was on the list and we had a huge bag of leftover pork in the car. Oh shit. I’m going to jail for not Declaring a bag of pork. Shit shit shit! Do I run out and tell him or do I play dumb when he comes back in to call me on it? I will play dumb b/c I am dumb. The Officer walked back in holding my son’s cup in his hand. The cup is muddy looking. I’m assuming that it fell in the bag with the plant and now we have to give that up too b/c it has toxic, uncertified soil on it. I was wrong. He actually was doing me a favor and didn’t want to put the dirty cup in the car and make a mess so he brought it in. No mention of meat. Phew! We were escorted to our car and allowed to leave. All in all, passing the border took over almost 2 hours. Fucking basil. All hail the USA, we are only 3 hours from home. Except the kids are starving and antsy, we need gas, my son’s cup is filthy and it’s starting to storm. We got home at 5pm. Almost 10 hours after we left. The pork is probably not safe to eat. I have 10 loads of laundry to do. We all need showers/baths. There is nothing to eat for dinner. We need a vacation!
The HUGE Bridge: http://www.tc.gc.ca/programs/surface/bridges/images/bwb88.jpg
